"I'd like to get in, get on with it, get it over with, and get out."
I also hate uncertainty, situations I can't control. Yeah. I'm in for a treat with this one. I'm still waiting on orders. Not only am I waiting for a specific job assignment, I also don't have firm confirmation on which city they might send me to. So I can't make medical appointments or look for housing.
My life feels like it's in freeze-frame right now. My house is empty (I put my furniture and bulky items in long-term storage when I was still expecting to go to Hawaii, and my few other possessions - clothes, musical instruments/sheet music/CDs, and kitchen utensils, mostly - are in a local storage unit) but for the few pieces of furniture I'm including when I rent the house, some half-used condiments in the refrigerator, and a lone sleeping bag on the floor. I'm afraid to make plans more than 48 hours out, in case I get orders and I have to drop and run. I don't want to pack up all my stuff on the ship yet, because I might be coming to work for a few (or several) more days. And I hate not being busy, but I'm afraid to take on too many responsibilities at work, because I don't like leaving tasks undone or half-finished.
Nature abhors a vacuum, and so do I: I look at the unplanned days and weeks ahead (until I can get in and get treated) and anxiously want to fill them. Of course, I want to start treatment as soon as possible; but if I have to wait, then I want to have fun, be busy, and work hard in the interim. In particular, our ship has an underway period coming up, and I want to make the trip. A classic case of "Hurry up and wait" - except I'm not very good at that.
"Alors? On y va?"..."Allons-y!" (Ils ne bougent pas.)
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