From whose bourn no traveler returns

Terminals. The word is so misleading. "Exchange" is so much more appropriate. Like a stock exchange or a mercantile exchange; except instead of securities or hogs, it's people coming and going, trading one city for another, constant motion, endless options.

I love to travel. And I love airports. Not, of course, for the endless sits in plastic molded chairs, or the hurried strip-search at the security checkpoint, or the overpriced pseudo-regional fast food smelling up the waiting areas, overcrowded with screaming toddlers and rumpled businessmen, folded over their laptops, too cheap to fly first class but angling endlessly for upgrades. I love to walk along and glance over at all the other destinations, all the places I'm not going, as I wander to my gate, envisioning myself in Paris, Ft. Lauderdale, or Butte, blaming the inscrutability of descriptionless numbers for assigning me to flight 1202 to Portland instead of 1203 to New York; gate A37 to Oregon instead of C37 to Toronto. Airports hum with possibilities.

It's not so easy to board the wrong aircraft (though I've done it), to "accidentally" arrive in unintended places, but cars are another matter entirely. The "next big city" destinations on freeway signs always tempt me terribly. Why exit here, at mile marker 28? Why not keep going into the Gorge, to the Dalles, to Idaho? It's not that far, right? If I just keep driving...Sunsets are especially alluring. Why not stay behind the wheel until sunrise, wherever the road takes me, wherever I end up? What if I'm not there on Monday morning? What if I just don't come home? What undiscovered country awaits me?

Perhaps the threat of truancy is so tempting because I'm so damn reliable. I certainly wasn't itching to come back to radiation today, though. Halfway done with the zappings, I escaped to Portland this weekend for a friend's wedding and to spend time with my mom. Beautiful weather, tasty (mostly vegan) food, refreshing walks outdoors, a massage, church, roller skating, and a very entertaining wedding...not to mention, somehow, a lot of relaxation...and despite its various protests, my body was very happy to avoid the zapper for a couple days. But radiation beckoned, this afternoon, inexorably.

What if I just stay here?...if I take a different flight?...if I stay at work too late?...if I miss my bus, or my train, or my shuttle?...if I just don't show up?

I've never been all that good at breaking the rules.